How good are we to focus our goals?

Have you been ever asked what are your greatest weaknesses you'd be able to reel them off without much effort? When I came across this, I was trying to look into my strengths, but was not able to identify them as easily, even though knowing that is essential. So I tried to take an inventory of my strengths by asking some questions to myself.

1. What is my greatest strength when it comes to having new ideas?
2. What is my greatest strength when it comes to express myself?
3. What is my greatest strength when it comes to deal with other people?
4. What is my greatest strength when it comes to getting things done?

My heartiest attempt to answer thees questions revealed that there are certain things that you want to do and that relate to your strengths, but you don't always do them as effectively as you could. In such occasions, one good way to find out how to do them better is to look at the times when you do perform them well. An even better way of learning to make a habit of using your most effective traits and behaviours is to notice them by the way they are happening. Unfortunately most of us don't do this, as it's found to be common among us to notice when things are going badly, and when they are going well, we take it for granted. During a casual chat with one of my friends, who is a psychologist, I was suggested that to notice when things are going right is to jot down all the things that work well, which would help you to tackle new challenges every time in the future. He also pointed out that the best thing about this approach is the psycological advantage of learning from yourself, knowing that these are strategies that have already been proved themselves.

It seems to be very relevant to remember the hasidic saying at this context, "Everyone should carefully observe which way his heart draws him, and then choose that way with all his strength." While going through a write up of Dr. Julian Feinstein, a training expert, who pointed out that basically the world can be split into positive people - those who expect to win, and negative peple - those who expect to be right. This is a terrific insigh to me, that people who are negative about anything new or unusual often are not actually interested in those things and on a statistical evaluation of their accomplishments, which shows failure in majority, the best way to be right is to be negative!!!!!!

To my experience, if you do have someone in your life who refuses to overcome their negativity regarding what you are doing is just to ignore them, and the next best option is to help him to get a scientific corrective method to come out of his lacuna. Also it's important to make surethat you have some people in your life who share your enthusiasm and ambitions. The better you get socialised, the easier to meet people like this.

In this short discussion, what I would like to share with you is the effective ways to get focussed to accomplish your goals. And its for sure that you would come up with a number of ways to get people to cooperate in helping you reach your goals. It's to my belief that seeking help is not a weakness, but a strength. Let's have a glance into the need to focus your language for better results. From my best teacher, experience, what i learnes is being persuasive is a crucial skill and the strongest persuasion tools are your words. A senior tutor in a renowned medical college, who happend to be a family friend of mine suggested a book written by Dr John Gray, titled Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, to get a better understanding on man-woman reltionships. In the recent years it has been accepted that women talk more and interrupt less often than men. Also that women talk more about feelings and relationships while men talk more about facts and that women's conversation tends to be cooperative while men's tends to be competitive. But recently I came across an article from Dr. Janet Hyde, psychologist of University of Wisconsin, who had conducted a meta-analysis of studies of male-female communications, elucidated that there is very little differences in the quantity and quality of male female talk.

To my knowledge, "communication" is an abstract word. It only really takes on meaning when you know what you want to communicate, and more importantly to WHOM. Once you know that, you have to choose which 'how' suits best. To my observation most conversations are not dialogue, but monologues with frequent intersection. Inorder to make an effective communication one should learn the art of listening. One of the common phrases people use to indicate there is a rapport among people is that we are on the same wavelength. Studies reveal that rapport seems to be based primarily on similarity or the perception of similarity.

Inorder to get my thoughts focussed, I think I need a break. I thank you for taking your time to read my thoughts and really would appreciate your visionaries on it. Have a great day ahead!!!!